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Guess who's coming to town!

Category:  Humour
Rating:  FRT
Season:  Season 2
Spoilers:  The Fisher King
Size:  14.6kb
Written:  04-15-09
Summary: Someone from Spencers past is coming for a visit.
A/N: written for the Criminal Minds Bad Fan Fic Competition http://badfic2009.livejournal.com/
Disclaimer:  All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author.  The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise.  No copyright infringement is intended.

Spencer could feel the blood drain from his face. This was not happening. It couldn’t be, it wasn’t possible.

Reaching out to the chair behind him he quickly sat down, welcoming its embrace. Taking in a deep breath, he slowly placed the letter in his hand on the coffee table. His drag queen brother was coming to visit.

He hadn’t got anything planned, he was due to arrive in three days, and there was no time to get things arranged.

His brother had gone with his father when he had left him and his mother. They had stayed in contact, but they weren’t ever as close as they had once been. His brother Raymond had been wowed by the lights of Las Vegas and become a professional drag queen at one of the bog casinos. While Spencer enjoyed the letters he received, detailing the lifestyle of his brother, deep down he was embarrassed, no-one on the team knew about his brother, or what he worked as.

Taking in a deep breath he composed himself and glanced at his watch, if he didn’t leave now, he would be late.


‘Our Un-Sub is a sadistic psychopath’ said Hotch as the screen behind him changed to show yet another picture of the crime scene.

‘He will relate to people in terms of power rather than affection, he takes great pleasure in having omnipotent control of others’ stated Gideon, ‘he raped all the victims’

‘There are generally 4 categories of rapist, power reassurance, power assertive, anger retaliatory, and anger-excitation.’ said Reid

Morgan cleared his throat, ‘Our Un-sub wants to have complete control over his victim, to be their God, he gains their trust, most likely appearing as a member of an organisation that people trust, such as Law enforcement.’

‘We have been called in by the Mount Vernon Police, luckily this case won’t take us too far from home’ added JJ.

Spencer inwardly sighed, part of him wanted an excuse so he could avoid his brother, and fate wasn’t giving him that opportunity.


2 days later;

They had a suspect, one Philip O’Connor. Spencer sat on the gurney in the hospital, for some reason he wasn’t having much luck recently. The suspect had grabbed him as they closed in, and had used Spencer as a human shield. He was fine overall, except for the slight head injury he had from were Philip O’Connor had hit him. He had tried his best to convince the team he was fine, it was only a slight concussion; the blood had just made it look a lot worse. However, he was sure most of them didn’t believe him, they seemed to think it was upsetting him.

Gideon had rushed to his side as he was checked over by the Nurse in the Local Hospital, reassuring him, and telling him it wasn’t his fault. Spencer had told him not to worry he knew it wasn’t his fault; he had smiled at him and waved off his worries. However it was niggling away at him, this had happened before, but in truth, he was preoccupied with the impending visit of his brother.


Hotch had given him time off after the case, and now it seemed he had no excuse not to meet up with his brother. Spencer sighed as he pulled out the sofa bed. Decorating it with pillows and a duvet. He jumped as the doorbell went. He was here.

He walked over towards his door, his mind racing; he hadn’t seen his brother in so long. Taking a deep breath he opened the door, and was engulfed in a large hug.

‘Spence’ shouted the figure now hugging him.

‘Raymond?’ asked Spencer, unsure of who was currently hugging him.

‘Of Course it is!’ he replies, ‘it’s been a while’ he said in a more serious tone.

‘Come in’ said Spencer as he moved back from the door to let Raymond enter.

Raymond walked over to the sofa bed and set down his bags.

‘Are you going to be working while you’re here?’ asked Spencer

‘What? Oh.’ said Raymond as he glanced as his bags and sheepishly grinned at Spencer. ‘Only for one night, it’s a Charity gig.’ His eyes narrowed as he noticed a few stitches above Spencer’s left eyebrow that had previously been hidden by his hair, ‘are you ok? He asked, his own hand going towards his own left eye.

‘Oh this, it’s nothing. It was an accident at work’ replies Spencer shrugging off his concern.

Raymond didn’t look completely convinced, but started to unpack his bags, he pulled out a red and black showgirl headdress, the black feathers were huge and burst out from a red base that had gold chains hanging down the sides.

‘Here put this on’ he said to Spencer.

‘What?’ said Spencer, holding the headdress in both hands, mouth wide open.

‘You are always so serious, what with your work, come on, live a little. Trust me, you’ll have fun!’

Spencer tried to digest what his brother had just said; finally he came to a conclusion. ‘I’m only doing this for you, right?’

‘Oh Honey, my lips are sealed’ replied Raymond in a slightly more feminine voice as he pulled out another headdress for himself, this one covered in blue and gold feathers.

Spencer tried to attach the headdress to his head, but was failing miserably. So Raymond came and gave him a hand. Once the headdresses were firmly attached, Raymond dug out some CD’s from his bags and put on some music.

Spencer had stood still for the whole time, his arms wrapped around himself in a protective hug, despite this; a small smile did touch his lips, ‘Raymond?’

‘No, Spencer babe, its Roxanne’

Spencer laughed a little at this as his brother gave him a cheeky wink.

Loud music blared from his CD player as Raymond started to dance away, grabbing Spencer and twirling him. Spencer although a little reluctant at first soon was dancing away with his brother, oblivious to the knocking at his door.


Hotch was standing outside Spencer’s apartment, he had given him the day off, but had decided to check up on him. The last case had seemed to shake the young man a little, and he had seemed a little preoccupied during and after the case.

Now, standing outside Spencer’s door, he felt something was wrong, loud music was blaring from inside the apartment, and no matter how much knocked there was no reply. This wasn’t like Reid at all.

Taking out a set of keys he selected the one he knew would open Spencer’s door. Once Elle had been shot, they had all agreed to have the keys to each other’s apartments in case of emergencies.

He put the key in the lock and twisted, pushing the door open; he stopped in shock at what he saw.


Raymond was the first to stop dancing as he stared at the man who had just entered the apartment in a smart grey suit. He quickly tapped Spencer on the shoulder and moved to turn down the music.

Spencer’s heart stopped when he saw Hotch. He tried to say something, ‘um, this is Roxanne, I mean Raymond my brother’ as he tugged at the headdress that refused to budge from his head. His cheeks burned red as he watched as Hotch tried to take in the news.

‘Do you work with Spence?’ asked Raymond.

This seemed to startle both men who had been staring at each other in shock.

‘Yes, I’m his boss at the BAU, I was just checking that you were ok after that last case Spencer, but as you have company...’ he trailed off and made to leave.

Spencer grabbed him by the arm, ‘Stay?’ he asked hoping that maybe he could explain this a little better to his boss.

Raymond laughed, ‘I have a spare headdress!’

Both Spencer and Hotch turned to stare at Raymond.

‘As I was saying to Spencer, he works too hard, and from the looks of it, so do you, how about a little time off? Get your freak on!’

Spencer inwardly groaned. Hotch however quickly glanced at his watch, he had some time on his hands, and he never really got to let his hair down. A smile touched his lips. It was unconventional, but perhaps this would help him take his mind off things.

Hotch turned to Spencer, ‘I’d love to stay, where’s that spare headdress?’

Spencer’s mouth fell open in shock as Raymond laughed and led Hotch over to his bags.


"I guess a drag queen's like an oil painting: You gotta stand back from it to get the full effect."
---Harvey Fierstein



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